Thursday, December 23, 2010

Picking myself up again...

So here it is a few weeks since my last post. Just trucking along in life. Haven't been doing a spectacular job at keeping myself sane, but I am trying. I am eating healthier I think. And I am doing some little exercise here and there. I even worked a whole 2 days and then jumped ship quickly on that adventure.(more on that later)

BUT!!!!! I have lost 7 pounds. Go figure right? I really think the new meds they have me on are helping immensely. The cymbalta is helping my fibro pain alot, and its also suppressing my appetite. Which in itself is good when you have an eating disorder. oh yes, OA meetings seemed to have fallen off my calendar the last 2 weeks. I am just being lazy. Next tuesday, I swear I am going. They really did change my life.

Anyhow, theres so much more I want to post, but atm... I feel I said enough.

If anyone is still following this, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Down...almost out...

Lately it seems that nothing goes right. Either Tofer is having a breakdown, DJ is in a slump, or that the money coming in goes out way too fast. Things are just so stressful right now that I find myself wanting to sleep more and more. My bed is my safe haven from all things bad. I can fall asleep and think about nothing, dream of good things, and worry about nothing.

I know this isnt healthy, but when I am awake, I find myself either wanting to eat, drink or just feel downright disgusted with my life. I know I dont have it that bad. But shit, I just want a break every now and then.

Going to the Overeaters Anonymous meeting really opened my eyes to my life. These people really and truely understood where I was coming from. I will say that I sat there at the table shaking my ass off because I was so nervous, scared, terrified and just plain in awe of the stories being presented before me. I really think this is something that could help change my life.

Today Tofer had a breakdown about school, its the first time I have ever seen DJ so upset about it. He literally was in tears. It scared the bejesus outta me. He is usually the strong one, hes my rock. But I guess everyone has a breaking point and DJ finally met his today. I wanted him to stay home with me today but he had too many important meetings. I thought maybe he just needed a break from life.