giving in and giving up...

There are many days when I wonder why I am even doing this adventure.I sit and think about all that I have gone through,and all that I will go through and I wonder if I am strong enough for this.

There are so many roadblocks that keep popping up and its taking forever to get to the final step. :( Sometimes I just dunno about all of it.

I am wondering if this is normal. I sometimes feel so defeated.

Then I am reminded of why I want to do this. For my life. I need to get my life back. Just going up and down the stairs here at home is a chore that is totally embarassing.

Funny story: DJ and I were in the card shop looking at the halloween gear. Next year we wanna have a major halloween party. I found a costume that I totally adored. Problem: its a size 10/12. I bought it anyhow, it was only 5 bucks, and its inspiration to why I want to do this. I WILL GET INTO THAT !!!!!! if not, then I will squeeze whatever squishy bits I have into it and horrify my friends :) muhahahaha!!!

At any rate, i am in this for the long run. Sometimes I just need to get things off my chest. I guess this is the place for it I suppose :)

Mental what?

*giggles* So I finally got to my Psych. Evaluation. It went SPLENDIDLY!!! If only this therapist was closer to home, I would see her on a regular basis for sure!!!

We talked about everything and nothing. She was down to earth and really listened to me when I said that instead of eating when depressed, I sleep. She just nodded and said, "understood". Thankfully I finally got someone who would understand wtf I was saying.

I didn't sugar coat anything, I was upfront and honest. I think it went REALLY well.

I am supposed to go back next week to do a test of some sorts. :P But I am going to have to cancel cause DJ needs the car. Oh well, whats another week?!?! :)