Pre-Op wellness and fitness class...

So on Thursday, July 22nd, I went to just one of the many preop classes I need to go to. I dropped off DJ, dropped off the kids and headed through the tunnel to get to SNGH in Norfolk. I got there about 2 hours before my class because I was hoping to get in the lab and get my pre-op blood work, EKG, and Xray done. Thankfully, I had 10 minutes to spare to get to my class and I was done with yet another thing.

The class was interesting, we went through stretching, warm-ups, cardio and strength training. :) It was very informative. They gave us free pedometer's, free dumbbells, and a whole lotta information :)

Something else I accomplished that day was getting over one of my biggest fears ever. Going to the other peninsula by myself. Let's just say that I am not a big fan of Norfolk. I find it dirty, scarey, and just downright frightening. This only happened after I was held up at gunpoint in 2007. Anytime we go that way, I have PTSD and freak out internally. I am much more relaxed when DJ is with me, because he's my protector :D

Oh, before I forget, they called me friday with my bloodwork results. My Vitamin D is slightly low, and my TSH levels are out of this world. A normal person's thyroid is between 0.04 and 4.0. Mine is at 26.5. :( Not good. So they want me to get into my PCP and get on a higher dose of meds. :( This is going to delay me at least another month. But I did go to Sam's club and bought the big bottle of Vitamin D, and Calcium tablets. HOLY COW, calcium pills are GIGANTIC!!! *giggles* I didn't know if I could even swallow the suckers!!!

At any rate, I am moving in the right direction. Let's just hope it keeps going that way :)

Depression + Stress = Killer

So Thursday morning around 3am I woke up with a tightness in my chest. I also got up and vomited, sat up sipping some water, and then finally got back into bed. Only to have the pain in my chest worsen bringing me to tears. Finally around 5:30 DJ and I got up and made the decision to get me to the ER.

So off we went. We arrived around 6:30am and I had been crying almost nonstop from home to the hospital. I realized I was completely and utterly depressed. I still am, but am slowly working on that...sometimes.

Anyhow, 7 hours later, 2 EKG's, 2 Sets of blood work, a chest Xray, some fluids, some meds they let me leave with an unknown diagnoses basically. They recommend I get a stress test done soon. Just to be safe. While I was there, my BP dropped to 90/45, my pulse was in the low 50's, and my oxygen lvl dropped to the point that they put me on the nose thingy for oxygen. That stuff is harsh. :(

They gave me some scripts for xanax, and told me to relax as much as possible. HA! Yeah right. I am so upset, because we had to cancel my Psych. Eval. and now I am not sure if I am blackballed or not. :( I am totally tripping out over this.

At any rate...life moves on... I am still alive...and I am still stressed out. Let's hope this coming week is much better.

Giving it up....

So last week was the last time I had a diet coke here at home. DJ bought me a really nice iced tea maker, and some splenda packets from Sam's Club, so I am brewing my own at home.

I know that after the surgery, fizzy drinks are out. So I figured I better get used to it now. Its hard, cause diet coke was a staple of my daily routine. I am also trying to add more water to my diet. This part is the hardest due to the fact that I HATE water. Blegh.

I go for my Psych. Evaluation on Thursday with Dr. Lynch, I am hoping that she doesn't see through to the real me, and denies me the chance to save my life. Sometimes though smiling all the time makes me literally sick to my stomach. When you are sick and tired all the time, you just sorta plaster a grin on and move forward day to day.

Today I am feeling extremely at odds with my emotions. I am hoping that after the move, and after the surgery. I can finally start living the life I want.

Sharing my fat for the world to see!

So I went to my consult, had a fantastic visit, and found out I only weigh in at 322. I guess that is a plus :) At any rate, I have a ton of appointments to make and go to. Last night I went to my first one, it was a support group for preop patients. :) I had a good time, and learned ALOT of things. My next appt. will be for the Psych Evaluation. That should be mighty interesting. :P Anyhow, at my visit, they did this thing on me. You strip down, get in this black booth and get flashed by lights. It was the weirdest thing I have ever experienced!!! But anyhow, the picture is posted to the right. Yes, those are my measurements. Yes I am fat. Get over it! :) I get 5 of these nifty pictures. I look forward to seeing how much my body changes!!!

4th of July Pic

This is me, at my heaviest. 335 pounds. I wear a size 26/28 or bigger. And I have a BMI of.... 59.3

I have never really shared my weight in public before. So this is a huge step. I also might be off a few pounds. Tomorrow at my appt. I am sure they will do a weightin.

Are we there yet?!?!?!

Tuesday just cannot come fast enough :( Seem's to be taking forever. I was looking through my closet today and realized if I lose even 50 pounds in the next few months, nothing is going to fit me anymore *squeeeeels* But then I realized that meant my bras were probably going to need replacing too and then I got blegh! :P

Mood: Happy and yet thinking of my momma today
Energy: Okay, but would really like to take a nap
Exercise: Does walking around the house count?

The first day of the rest of my life....

ok so not really :P Tuesday is actually. :) I go for my gastric bypass surgery consult. I already know I am a candidate, I already know my insurance will pay. I just need to get there. :P

I have to be there at 9:30am. My appt. is at 10am. :) I am so excited, and yet scared at the same time.*giggles* Does that make any sense?!

Starting tomorrow night, I will post some pics of myself. My measurements, and weight, and my feelings for the day.

I accept any type of criticism, but please do me a favor. Don't lecture me about the surgery. I know the pros, I know the cons, I know the danger. But this is MY life. So respect that. :)